She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
