I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
