no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
