We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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