I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Randomize
