You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
okay pat passed out under dana's car
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
you had me at cake vodka
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
