Jerry, you need to find god
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
