She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
