i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
it glows. i had to have it.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Randomize