He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Randomize
