when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize