Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
