go do what you do best...puke behind churches
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
