I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
