We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
