No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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