I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I have post one night stand depression
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