OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Randomize
