both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Randomize
