It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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