I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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