im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
