So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
