You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize