I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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