I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
