I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
