I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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