they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
