If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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