anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize