that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Randomize
