I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Randomize
