Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Randomize