Betty ford says i'm here all night
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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