well you can't waste a boner
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I need to calm my uterus...
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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