O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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