i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
What a dumb baby whore.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
