Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
