i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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