her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Randomize
