I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Randomize
