I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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