Fine. I'll sleep in my office
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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