You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
