Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
