And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
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