Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
