Its about making memories worth repressing
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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