carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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