Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
