I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
