it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
