im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
