I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
