Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Operation Purity has been aborted
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
