yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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