My first STD was from a foam party
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Randomize
