Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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