WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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